Depressed mode
I’m totally depressed right now. Last night, I received news that totally crushed me. The only question in my head was "Why?". I don’t think anyone else would have a different reaction if they were in my situation. And last night’s class, we learned about mood disorders, anxiety, psychological disorders, depression and so on.
I remember my first 2 assignments. I handed in sometime in August. During that period, I was with R busy doing our research in the ref section in National Library. You can see that my English is not that fantastic but when it comes to my assignment, I thought that I did pretty well. But R couldn’t understand the text, let alone our research materials. She also told me that she didn’t know how to do her reference page. At that time, I told her that I’m not sure if my work is good but I could give her a copy of BOTH my assignments to her and she could roughly get an idea of what to write. So I emailed to her. HORRIBLE MISTAKE. Believe me, I was there with her most of the time and when I was busy typing, she could just stare at her notebook and couldn’t move on from her introduction. For sooo many days, she couldn’t finish up both her assignments and she couldn’t hand in on time. She even crossed over the deadline and handed in about a month later. And from what we know, late submission will have a penalty of 8 marks per assignment. Now the next paragraph is really going to piss me off.
The results are out. She had 2 bloody distinctions and I only had a credit and a compassionate pass (CP). What the hell? And how come there are no deductions for late submission? I was the one who helped her and she got better grades than me? This is totally incomprehensible. I had to crack my brain to finish up my assignments and all I get was a lower grade? I calculated the difference in our marks. A median average of about 20 marks per assignment. I think lava is coming out of my ears and nose right now. I felt unfair. The difference is too great. Why? Why?
I’m always nice and sometimes people would take advantage of me. Now I know, it doesn’t pay to be nice sometimes. I’m so stupid huh? Sooo stupid! I knew from now on, I have to be selfish. I don’t think I can be that sweet, nice girl anymore.
And the fact that I had to spend another $25 to appeal for one of my assignments, just sucks! But then again, I think it’s a test for me especially during this fasting month. I failed the test. I was so angry last night. And none of my classmates have seen that side of me. Oh my God! What have I become?
I remember my first 2 assignments. I handed in sometime in August. During that period, I was with R busy doing our research in the ref section in National Library. You can see that my English is not that fantastic but when it comes to my assignment, I thought that I did pretty well. But R couldn’t understand the text, let alone our research materials. She also told me that she didn’t know how to do her reference page. At that time, I told her that I’m not sure if my work is good but I could give her a copy of BOTH my assignments to her and she could roughly get an idea of what to write. So I emailed to her. HORRIBLE MISTAKE. Believe me, I was there with her most of the time and when I was busy typing, she could just stare at her notebook and couldn’t move on from her introduction. For sooo many days, she couldn’t finish up both her assignments and she couldn’t hand in on time. She even crossed over the deadline and handed in about a month later. And from what we know, late submission will have a penalty of 8 marks per assignment. Now the next paragraph is really going to piss me off.
The results are out. She had 2 bloody distinctions and I only had a credit and a compassionate pass (CP). What the hell? And how come there are no deductions for late submission? I was the one who helped her and she got better grades than me? This is totally incomprehensible. I had to crack my brain to finish up my assignments and all I get was a lower grade? I calculated the difference in our marks. A median average of about 20 marks per assignment. I think lava is coming out of my ears and nose right now. I felt unfair. The difference is too great. Why? Why?
I’m always nice and sometimes people would take advantage of me. Now I know, it doesn’t pay to be nice sometimes. I’m so stupid huh? Sooo stupid! I knew from now on, I have to be selfish. I don’t think I can be that sweet, nice girl anymore.
And the fact that I had to spend another $25 to appeal for one of my assignments, just sucks! But then again, I think it’s a test for me especially during this fasting month. I failed the test. I was so angry last night. And none of my classmates have seen that side of me. Oh my God! What have I become?
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